Post Sunday September 6 2009

“What do you want me to do for you?” Mark 10:36 & 51

I pray that the three weeks we spent in one parable truly provided you with teaching that is now allowing you to answer Jesus’ question of “what is your reading of it” and “what do you think?”

One of the main points from yesterday’s teaching was the need to set up the proper boundaries with the one in need of help. It is beneficial not just to you, but to the one in need of help as well. When boundaries are properly constructed it protects you and helps point the one in need of help to life.

In setting up boundaries we need to become skilled in knowing what types of boundaries to set up. The first step to take is to find out what we are dealing with. How do we best find out what we are dealing with? Go to the source. Not through a 3rd party, but go right to the source, which would be………..the person in need of help. Ask them what they want you to do for them.

This question will help expose a wealth of information to better help you in your desire to show mercy and compassion and help the one in need of help see their role in renewing their life.

Twice in Mark chapter 10 individual(s) came to Jesus in need of help and twice Jesus flat out asked them: “What do you want me to do for you?” The first case (10:35-45) was two of his disciples coming and requesting a certain position within His Kingdom. Because Jesus flat out asked them and they flat out answered Jesus was able to know right away that this is something I am not able to provide. However, Jesus then explained to them and the other disciples how they could conduct their lives to achieve something to similar to what they were looking for.

The boundaries were able to be immediately set by asking this question. The pressure to come through was immediately off Jesus because what they were asking for was not something He could do, so He told them, I can’t do that. How much easier would helping others be if we immediately realized, I’m so sorry, I can’t do what you are asking me to do. Pressure is off you immediately and immediately the one in need of help can seek another avenue for healing instead of wasting time going down a dead end street.

f you are aware of that “other avenue” by all means inform them and guide them if possible. If you do not know the correct avenue then maybe direct them to someone who may know. We do not give up on attempting to help, we just adjust our help based on the boundaries that we are setting. The person must be willing to be helped, the what do you want me to do for you question will assist you in finding out if they really want help toward life.

Be willing to be helped is important because you may find out that when you ask the question, what do you want me to do for you that they never really answer and only inform you of their situation without ever saying what they want. Don’t let them off the hook, keep asking the question in different ways and if they never answer just flat out ask them: “So you just need an ear to listen to you explain your trouble? What are you doing about it?”

Far too many of us are wasting time talking about our problems and we never get to the “doing” of moving away from the problem and into solutions and into life.

If they believe that God is not the One who can help them, let them know that you understand their difficulty in believing that God can help, but assure them of the power of the gospel (the good news of Jesus Christ) share your testimony with them and let them know that when they are ready to give God an opportunity that you will walk with them in their journey (again the walk would be with the proper boundaries, maybe you take them to church each week, to Small Group, Wednesday Night Adrenaline, meet with them weekly for coffee to talk about God, etc.). For encouragement on this read Mark 9:15-29 – Focus on verses 23-24 & 29

The second time Jesus asked this question in Mark chapter 10 (10:46-52) was to a blind man. The blind man flat out answered his question that he wanted to see again. Jesus had the capability of fulfilling this and did so and told the man to “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” What was the way he choose to go? “And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road.” He followed Jesus, that is someone who wants to be made well.

A few years ago I received a call from a woman in tears and she began to share with me the struggles she was having with her husband and I listened and didn’t say much. She got to the end of her tears and I said what do you think I can do to help? (Not the same question as Jesus, but I’m not as smart as He is!) She paused and asked: How do you and Nicole stay OK in the middle of your busy lives? I said we are OK, because we refuse to be not OK and there is only one place to go when you aren’t OK and there is only one place to remain to stay OK. When we are not doing well we like most people argue, we disagree, we say things we wish we hadn’t, we bring up our past mistakes and when we both realize that this is going nowhere it is then that we always arrive at God’s doorstep and we talk about what God desires for our lives and in the middle of that we find healing. In the middle of God we find healing. (It’s not magic ya’ll it’s the power of the gospel!)

She paused and said would you mind counseling me in this, I said sure, we met at Dunkin Donuts the next week and she walked in with a smirk on her face, we sat down and she said, I’m so sorry, I don’t even need counsel. I should have just called you and cancelled this. She went on to say you were right I need to listen to what God would have for us not what I would have for us. We talked for awhile what her issues where, matched them up against what God desired and her problems weren’t solved but life could move, it could breathe and healing began to take place.

That simply question: “What do you want Me to do for you?” not only immediately exposes what is expected of you, but when the person in need of help begins to honestly listen to what they are asking you to do they hopefully will also see their own responsibility in the situation and the unrealistic expectations they possibly have on you and others.

Healing takes place when we bring ourselves and others to the One True Healer and we turn ourselves over to the One True Healer and then we continue to follow that One True Healer.

We do not need to pass by others because we have a very simple place to point them to. At times the help they need will require a lot of sacrifice on our part and when we sacrifice we are freely and willingly giving away a piece of ourselves. Sacrifice knowing the potential joy that is set before you and the one in need of help.

Don’t wait too long before asking the question: “What do you want Me to do for you?” You’ll be amazed by how quickly boundaries will be able to be established, but even more exciting how quickly the path toward healing will be revealed to the one in need of help.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Does the thought of asking that question intimidate you? Why or Why not?
2. Are there situations that you are involved in right now that you can ask that question? What is stopping you?

For Help in Setting Boundaries read the following books….

“Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
“Boundaries Face to Face” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
“Bold Love” by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Tremper Longman III

“The more that you read, the more things that you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” Dr. Suess

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